The definition of falling in love has been a hot topic for decades. In general, People are using feelings to define love. If you are excited to see someone, you are in love; If your heart pops faster while you were looking at someone, you are in love. Thus, jealousy is also part of a feeling, but should this feeling be grouped as a part of love?
First of all, we knew that the definition of Love has been changed through time due to the advance of technology and society. In general speaking, people define love as a force of nature. However much we may want to, we are not able to demand, command, or even take away love. We can invite love, but we cannot dictate how, when and where love expresses itself. Meanwhile, because of the advanced of technology, people are getting jealous over someone easier nowadays. Just a sign of an action, e.g. he or she ignored your Facebook inbox, you saw a photo of him and her online or some social media, you may get jealous. Everyone must have been through this, thinking that a people who are really in love get jealous over stupid things.
But in my opinion, jealousy isn’t a sign of love. Thus, it is a sign of insecurity. Insecurity is the most significant of all potential causes of jealous. As a survey reported, romantic jealousy was actually a serious problem for a third of their clients. I would say it is just a negative emotion stemming from desire but not love. Furthermore, if you love the fact someone is possessive about you, it just stems from your debilitating need to be loved and be taken care of.
Then, What really motivates jealous responses?
I would say low self-esteem is one of the main reasons which motivates jealous. Due to low self-esteem, it can lead people to become depressed and think in a negative way. People with low self-esteem are more likely feel jealous towards their lover or their people surrounding. They are a desire for love and caring, lacking secure feelings. They used to compare themselves and others, turns out being jealous of everyone because they are not confident enough. They may have the feelings of inadequacy in their relationship, fearing that they’re not good enough for their partners or lover. Moreover, possessiveness and protectiveness are another underlying cause of jealousy. To a degree, these two things should be a good thing, but over-possessive and over-protective may lead to jealousy. When a person is committed in a relationship, it’s natural that there is a certain expectation, and to feel a little protective. But then this can easily be taken too far and the downfall of many jealousy men. They may think their partner only belongs to them like they actually own their other-half. They may try to constrict their partner to distance themselves for a bit of freedom. Any interaction with other men they see as a treat. Therefore, they react jealousy when their partner is in the accompany of other men as a subconscious way of protecting the relationship. Over-possessive and over-protective people think that they can prevent their partners’ inevitably leaving them if only they prevent their other-half from ever talking to other men.
To conclude, low self-esteem may lead to insecurity which is the root cause of jealousy. This kind of people is fearful that they might lose their other-half as their lack self-acceptance. Being over possessive and protective are another underlying cause of jealousy as those people may try to constrict their partners’ behavior to prevent losing them.